What the fuck do you do when she’s sick..like REALLY sick like a tumour in her liver and cysts on her overies?

What do you When she’s depressed.. REALLY  depressed, turning up to my house crying.

I could tell her that everythings going to be okay but I’m the friend she’s known since we were born and when I don’t think everything’s going to be okay how can I tell her it will?

What CAN I DO when she says she wants it to end. When I KNOW deep deep down that she honestly believes it would be better if she wasnt alive? How do I make her stay for just me.. I’m only me. I don’t have the world to give her but if she said she’d stay just for me, just because she’s so glad I’m her friend and always have been I’d do ANYTHING.

If she jumped off a cliff… I’d dive right after her. She is the first friend I’ve ever known and now.. She’s gotten so sick and so skinny…she’s losty herself and given up and her Mum who I’ve also known for… well.. my whole life sent her to me today…

I WAS HER FUCKING SUICIDE WATCH.

I had to watch the girl I’ve been closest to my whole life today so that she wouldn’t kill herself..end her life. And I don’t know how I did it. Ikepyt walking into the room where she was napping half expecting to see her trying to hang herself or cutting her wrists…she left and i went into the shower and bawled my eyes out for about half an hour straight. She’s MY Courtney, my Johnson.. life is never fair.